Riccarton House
Riccarton House W.A.L.T write a descirptive piece of writing.
Hi my name is Jane I have a kid called John and a husband called John he had a chest infection and he died at the age of 34 I live with my son now.I slowly walk to the kitchen I was as slow as a turtle to make some yummy food. As I slowly walk into the kitchen I can hear the floor creak it is as creepy as someone stalking you.Then I was pregnant with 11 other children It is hard looking after 12 children.I Walk up stairs to get the nanny to look after the kids the stairs are as steep as a hill.The nanny looked after the kids while I cooked tea for 14 people counting me and the nanny.It was as hard to cook the tea as doing a backflip on the ground.After I had finished cooking tea the nanny and me feed the kids It was to hard so I got another nanny so now I have 2 nannys It is really good to have 2.I have finished feeding the kids it is bed time.Me and the 2 nannys bring the children to there bedroom it is as far away as maptune then We finally get to the bebroom. We put the babies to bed.Then The 2 nannies went to bed then I headed to my bed.The bed was as comfortable as a couch.Then I went to sleep Very quickly.I woke up the the next day from the birds singing and babies crying.The bird's voice was as pretty as a diamond.The baby's crying was as loud as a car going fast.It's the same day every day the days are as boring as watching the news.about 15 years later all my kids move out and get married so it's just me by myself.It is time to go to bed I start to feel really sick so I have a drink of water. Then I go to the toilet so I went to bed and I died now I am a ghost.I have lots of people now that loom around my house I really like to see people look after my house and when people are not being very nice to my house I chase them far away I just keep an eye on the house and make sure everything is alright and I don't go invisible no one is in my house but when people go through my house I go invisible and that is the end.THE END
Hi my name is Kash. I like your story it has a lot of capital letters for a second I thought it was real. Maybe next time you could remember to use full stops at the end of your sentence.
ReplyDeleteNi Hao My Name Is Jazmine From Mamaku 2 At Greymain School. I Like The Way You Have Capital Letters In You Sentence And I Like The Way You Said. I slowly walk to the kitchen I was as slow as a turtle to make some yummy food. As I slowly walk into the kitchen I can hear the floor creak it is as creepy as someone stalking you. This Is Such A Good Sentence You Said I Walk up stairs to get the nanny to look after the kids the stairs are as steep as a hill.The nanny looked after the kids while I cooked tea for 14 people counting me and the nanny. It Has A Lot Of Detail In it Like I Mean A Lot Of Detail And The Way You Said The bed was as comfortable as a couch.Then I went to sleep Very quickly.I woke up the the next day from the birds singing and babies crying.The bird's voice was as pretty as a diamond.
ReplyDeleteNext Time I Think You Could Of Made Your Sentences A Little Bit Bigger And Longer But I Don't Think You Need To Work On You expression In The Sentences